.ten thousand fists ]xx

[angels.to.demons]

ooc - I needed some Darkpaw time. Plaguestar and him should have a mentor-apprentice moment, which is as close to father-son as either of them will ever get...

survivor! survivor!
one more goddamn day when i know what i want
and my want will be considered tonight, considered tonight
just another day when all that i want
will mark me as a sinner tonight, i'm a sinner tonight, yeah

The sun was rising, and, casting its silvery-gray glow over the world, eliminating the dusky darkness of the prevous night, it seemed to be scrubbing the Weeping Forest, sudsing away all that was wicked and stained the night before. Although it washed all traces of night from the world around him, Darkpaw's mind was still terribly soiled with the events of the night before. Weariness felt like he was carrying a thousand cats on his back, trudging through a desert, furiously hot sand underpaw and a deadly sun above, beaming light into his green eyes and making him stumble straight down.

Silver dawn struck his plush night-black coat, which was lightly dusted with red as he'd made his way home with Mirrorpaw in the late hours of day. The whole way home, his mind had tortured him; he hadn't said a single word to his sister, not even really remembering she was there. After all... the night had taken on nightmarish proportions when it was still evening. Stumbling through the reeds leading to the Whispering Falls, Darkpaw had stumbled over something that made him want to retch immediately.

people can no longer cover their eyes
if this disturbs you then walk away
you will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
ten thousand fists in the air!

What was that, do you ask? StarClan. It was the corpse of his father, of Shadow... Shadow, one of the few rogues left from the original Faithful Shadows... and briefly, Darkpaw realized he would need to tell Demon of this horrible deed done. Both of her only friends... felled in one horrible swoop, in one horrible toss of the stone... knocking both of his parents into the dark hole of which the rest of the Faithful Shadows had been banished.

Feeling shivers climb up his spine, he drew his body tighter, feeling an overwhelming wave of melancholia drown out any other senses and leaving him feeling numb all over. It was almost as though grief had frosted his umbral coat and left him naught but a statue in an iceland. Closing his eyes slowly and letting the sunlight weakly pour over his cold, infrared form, he wondered if he would ever find light again.

power un-restrained dead on the mark
is what we will deliver tonight, deliver tonight
pleasure fused with pain this triumph of the soul
will make you shiver tonight, will make you shiver tonight, yeah

Then his rational side perked up; after all, he had abandoned his parents to live in MireClan, where he was happy. Where he belonged. Shadow had personally found his way to the last Gathering, finding his son and trying to pursuade him to come home to him and their mother. Darkpaw had refused and told Shadow to leave before he was noticed by the Clan cats, and the dark gray and black tortoiseshell tom had angrily left, turning his back on his son the way he'd turned his back on his father.

Scorchedshadow, Leafshroud, Flamedemon, he murmured, wondering if those had been the names the three rebels would have taken had they retained their maternally-given prefixes. This made him feel a little odd, like his parents and his guardian had lived different lives completely before his birth. And, in a way, he supposed they had; a life that chased them straight into being rogues and outlaws. The Faithful Shadows.

people can no longer cover their eyes
if this disturbs you then walk away
you will remember the night you were struck by the sight of
ten thousand fists in the air!

Not for the first time, he wondered what that had been like. He could never get Shadow to tell him about it, nor could Demon or Shroud tell him much. They had been born right in the collapsing timeframe, where naught was going their way and they had to launch a war. Although many Clan cats today would tell Darkpaw that those cats were evil and cruel, he wondered about that. After all, they had stuck together, even to their deaths, and many romances had hung in the air in that Clan, cats who would die for their partners and were proud of the children they'd created. He knew that much. That was certainly saying something; some Clan fathers never so much as looked as their mates after giving them their litter of kits, more cats they no more than glanced at after they were weaned.

It just goes to show, he thought absently, that cats aren't always black or white. Shades of gray, shades of gray; StarClan, how tired am I of gray, gray, gray? I fear whatever gray there is will soon fade to black...

we are the ones that will open your mind
leave the weak and the haunted behind
we are the ones that will open your mind
leave the weak and the haunted behind
we are the ones that will open your mind
leave the weak and the haunted behind
we are the one that will open your mind
leave the weak and the haunted behind

ten thousand fists in the air
ten thousand fists in the air!

[[don't]fear[the]reaper]

[[oh, yes, they need that, don't they? X3 Also, tie-in!]]

I'll lay me down tonight
Much further down
Swim in the calm tonight
This art does drown

[/center]

"Darkpaw," a calm, strong voice called from the slowly-disappearing shadows. A large, cream-and-brown tabby tom stepped into the early morning light, blue eyes as calm as his voice. Plaguestar sat down by the soft black apprentice, carefully curling his tail around his beige paws. "You and Mirrorpaw were gone all night. Spectrumfire went out to look for you a few hours ago." The young leader smiled softly, remembering how blustered and worried his deputy had looked; of course he'd wanted to go, probably to see his mate and kits in WillowClan. Plaguestar would never have refused such a wish, anyway, even if the multicolored tom had covered it with such an excuse as that. After all, he'd been worried about the two youngsters himself, quiet Darkpaw and pretty-but-pointed Mirrorpaw.

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be and brood?
(What follows) has led me to this place where I belong, with all erased
What follows

[/center]

The tom looked at his apprentice, who looked so small and upset in this pearl-grey light, and sighed, guessing at what was wrong. "You know, Darkpaw, I never really knew my father. Not that I wanted to, I guess," he added quickly with a short, nervous laugh. "The cat I thought was my dad, Hauntedstar, he... well, he didn't like Abyssfang, and he didn't like me much, either. I spent a lot of my kithood trying to show my mom and Hauntedstar how good I was, and it didn't do anything to change that. So I ran away." The MireClan leader sighed, remembering those times, not without a pang of anger.
Shatteredkit, haven't you noticed? Mom and Dad don't like me-- they like you better. Why's that?

All insects sing tonight
The coldest sound
I'd send God's grace tonight
Could it be found?

[/center]

And he'd gone to find out why, hadn't he? First together with his half-sister, then alone. And he'd found the answer: his real father, Abyssfang, had forced himself on Morninglight, was a villianous, power-hungry monster. And what had Plaguestrike done then, no more than an adolescent with no home, and two families, neither of which he truly belonged to? He'd killed. He'd murdered, just like Abyssfang had done to every cat who'd crossed him. But he was different. Plaguestar had saved the forest that way, hadn't he? He'd left Baypaw, his half-sister, fatherless, and Mintleaf, WillowClan's new leader, without a mate, but it had been for the best, hadn't it? Hadn't it?

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be and brood?
(What follows) has led me to this place
where I belong, with all erased

[/center]

But Darkpaw didn't need to hear any of that. "Look at us, though, Darkpaw. You're going to be a warrior soon, the best MireClan'll ever know, and I'm leader, though I hardly deserve it. We're nothing like our dads, though some cat's bound to say otherwise." His mouth twisted into a knowing smirk. How many times had he accused himself of being just like his now-dead father?

I'll lay me down tonight
Much further down
Watch stars go out tonight
On sinking ground

[/center]

"We have to prove our worth more than any other cat in this forest," the creamy tabby said quietly, almost as an apology. "No one believes we're any different than our parents, but we have to show them otherwise. We fight twice as hard, hunt thrice as much, just to earn our dens at the end of the day. Because," Plaguestar looked away, into the sky, where the sun was tinting it a brilliant scarlet red. "We don't believe that we're worth anything."

I'll lay me down, I'll lay me down

(What follows) me as the whitest lace of light
(Will swallow whole) just begs to be and brood?
(What follows) has led me to this place
where I belong, with all erased

What follows will swallow whole
What follows will swallow whole

[/center]

[["girl's not grey" by afi. You just know that these two rock. XP]][/size]

[angels.to.demons]

ooc - I love them so much. -huggles Plague and Dark- Just 'cause they're as screwed up as we are. @-@;
That song's on RockBand 2! I always hated playing it on drums 'cause it was so damn fast. But, good song, nonetheless. Sorry, sucky post, but good song - Heroes by Shinedown.

stand in wonder, who's here to bring you down?
find your martyr, i'm sure you make the crown
so light a fire under my bones so when
i die for you, at least i'll die alone

there ain't nothin' for me to end up like this
so don't come tellin' me this time

Darkpaw jerked his head up as he was joined by his mentor, Plaguestar, also the leader of his Clan. To the mew of You and Mirrorpaw were gone all night. Spectrumfire went out to look for you a few hours ago, he snorted and looked up at his mentor, feeling his throat choke up. I was gone all night... and I'm sorry, Plaguestar. He swallowed, wondering if he could trust the cream-pale brown tabby who stared at him now with thoughtful blue eyes, beautiful as the dawning sky above them. He could only manage to meow, feeling awed of his clan leader, Plaguestar, Mirrorpaw and I went to see our parents... Shadow and Shroud. You knew them, right? Or of them. The rebels... and... they're dead. We found their corpses. He chuckled madly at one interval, still glaring into the horizon beyond his leader's head.

all my heroes have now become ghosts
sold their sorrows to the ones who made the most
all my heroes are dead and gone
but there inside of me, they still live on!

Spectrumfire went to look for us? If he did, he never found us. He must've taken a different trail. We didn't meet him on our way back, either. Shrugging, he turned keenly to Plaguestar, seeing his leader's eyes take a faroff look. Dream-glazed, almost, though not as soft or trusting. Harder, more experienced. Darkpaw had always felt like such a kit in Plaguestar's presence, but now he was almost... understanding? Maybe Shadow hadn't been evil. Maybe Shroud hadn't been a murderess. However, Darkpaw had never been exactly proud of being the descendent of Shallowheart, leader of ClawClan, and great-grandson of Stormfaith, leader of the Faithful Shadows. Way back up there dwelled Gustwhisker and Soulkeeper, Crimsonlight and Flowerpetal, Squirrelpelt and Shallowstorm, and finally, Shadow and Shroud. And Plaguestar, son of Abyssfang... the pale tabby hadn't mewed a word of Abyssfang's real evils to him, just that he was disliked by many.

dark devotion to a beacon paradise
shows no emotion to a willing sacrifice
and you can put a man on trial, but you can't make the guilty pay
and you can cage an animal, but you can't take away the rage

ain't nothin' for me to end up like this
so don't come down on me this time

Darkpaw swallowed, still glaring out into the frost. Now, more than ever, he felt that what Plaguestar said was true. The cats like them, the cats whose lineage scarred their hearts and souls, that marred their reputations before they could even make a name of their own, whose parents were seen in their every blinking move or shifting shadow... they had to prove their worth, to outshine the best of the warriors, just to prove their peers were wrong.

all my heroes have now become ghosts
sold their sorrows to the ones who made the most
all my heroes are dead and gone
they're inside of me, they still live on

We aren't worthless, he mewed gently, feeling his grief ebb to reveal an inner emotion he didn't recognize. Glancing sideways at Plaguestar, his eyes showed mourning giving way to light anger and stronger pride. Neither of us are -- none of us. None of Shallowheart's lineage is worthless, unless they make themselves worthless. None of any of those evil cats before us... none. Not unless they want to be. It should tell you something about a cat, how hard they work, just to prove to everyone they're different than their parents before them.

Glancing up, he made a silent vow he knew he could keep.

Never let what they say get to you. Never let what they think get to you. But most of all, never let what you say to yourself get to you, because it isn't really who you are.

The vow was simply to never forget that.

[[don't]fear[the]reaper]

[[Sorry for the delay... I is lazy. And we just exchanged RB for RB2. I'm guitar [li'l bro's drums, li'l sis is vocals], but I get vocals for a few songs that I know best. Go me. XD
Song is "West Coast Smoker" by Fall Out Boy.]]

Wishes bounce me weightless
The infra-red scope of pointlessness
The bulls are sedated and this fight's fixed

Plaguestar smiled sadly at his apprentice's words. Nice, kind, but he didn't know everything. Not that Plaguestar had any desire to tell Darkpaw everything. Not now. Murder, rape, dishonesty... Stars, he felt so tainted by his ancestor's crimes, so filthy, so unclean! But he forced himself to nod. "I don't let what anyone says get to me." I let my own thoughts keep me captive.

Don’t feel bad for the suicidal cats
Gotta kill themselves nine times before they get it right
The P.A system keeps my hard heart beating tonight
Yeaaah

"I'm sorry about your parents, Darkpaw," the cream-brown tom said honestly, then added, almost bitterly, "Parents. Always leaving us alone in the world to deal with what they left behind." He stared out at the lightening horizon, blue eyes suddenly chips of ice in a tabby face.

Oh hell yes, I’m a nervous wreck
Oh hell yes, The drugs just make me reset
Knock once for the Father
Twice for the Son
Three times for the Holy Ghost

Come on like I sugared you, but with a kick in the head
Like putting wings on lead
Your eyes are black in my starlight
I’m the last of my kind
(And as always I’m not addicted to you)

"My father left me to deal with the mess he left behind while he went and made more. I spent my entire kithood being treated like some spawn of hell, and nothing I did made it better." Plaguestar looked at Darkpaw suddenly, a spark of anger burning in sapphire eyes. "So I left home. And when the Clans reformed, I became MireClan leader. But you know what's funny, Darkpaw? I didn't want that."

Fall upon this token as religion of my head
And we’ll never get through customs
Let’s just take off again instead
Got my degree in the gutter
My heart broken in the dorms of the Ivy League

Oh hell yes, I’m a nervous wreck
Oh hell yes, The drugs just make me reset
Knock once for the Father
Twice for the Son
Three times for the Holy Ghost

The large brown-and-cream tabby laughed bitterly. "My mother's father was leader once. I think that's why they chose me for this job. It's obviously not for my own traits. Mintleaf could be a better leader than me." His tail twitched as he spat out the name. He hated the she-cat, but a thought had crossed his mind more than once. Twisted relationships that had resulted in himself, in Shatteredsky and Baypaw. And now the three were in the same Clan together: was this some strange curse of StarClan?

Knock once for the Father
Twice for the Son
Three times for the Holy Ghost

"Can I tell you a secret, Darkpaw?" He heard himself ask the dark tom beside him. "If you know it, you can never repeat it to any cat. Especially any one in this Clan or WillowClan."
Frankly, Plaguestar was tired of secrets. Sharing it made it less painful, though. He knew that.

[/size]

[angels.to.demons]

Darkpaw narrowed his eyes as Plaguestar gave him a flintstone stare. Yes, your father. Abyssfang. I know all about him... but maybe not as much as I should. Twitching his tail and contemptuously laughing, Yes, they leave us behind with nothing; but what else can we do but make the best of it? Some of us get better than others. When he uttered this phrase, he was thinking not of himself, not of Plaguestar, but of the enigmatic Eclipse.

Ah, damn, just get that psychotic bitch out of your mind before you cause some real mental trouble, he ammended himself roughly. Jerking his head up to stare into Plaguestar's eyes, much like his father's in their color, he listened quietly as his leader spoke. Each word he let into the frosty morning air pounded Darkpaw back a step; not physically, but mentally.

Every scar carried by the two of them... inflicted by not their own mistakes, but their fathers'... every enemy made, made by their mothers... every condescending look, given to them when considering their heritage... not them. And when Plaguestar told him he was leader because of his mother's father, Darkpaw felt a spark of rage.

Why would StarClan do that? I mean, choose a cat because of his heritage? It's... it's almost as bad as how they treat me because I'm the child of two Faithful Shadows Snares, and how they glare at you because you're the son of Abyssfang... He felt very childish in Plaguestar's presence, very overwhelmed by all of the terrible things the warrior had seen, and the things Darkpaw was sure to see.

The death of Shadow and Shroud were only the beginnings, he felt. Nervously shifting in his sleek black fur, he heard Plaguestar's soft plea, and he felt a bit surprised. Secret...? Secret, huh? Do I REALLY want to know his sordid secret? Do I REALLY want a part of this madness? Do I really?

Before he answered, he realized:

Yes. He did.

You may not believe it, but I have no one left in the world to spill any of your secrets to, sir. No one at all.

[[don't]fear[the]reaper]

[[Yay. These two are awesome.... I should make them something special to share... like a Pairing-Banner, but different. XD]]

Plaguestar smiled a little, the look wistful on his face. Sir. Hah. If he'd been a normal cat, he would've laughed at the word, or told Darkpaw not to call him that.
But he was far from normal. Any cat would tell you that.
"I'm no sir, Darkpaw." He said, with the faintest trace of a true smile in his voice. He rolled his shoulders a little, feeling the tension in his back ease a little as the muscles contracted and relaxed, not with out a feeling of pleasure. It was nice, stretching. Normal, almost.
"Shatteredsky, and Baypaw... they're my sisters," the large tom confessed, almost embarassed. "Half-sisters, really. I grew up with Shatteredsky; we shared a mother, but our fathers were enemies, though we grew up closer than any true siblings. Almost closer than you and Mirrorpaw, I might say." Plaguestar chuckled a little at the thought, then grew serious again.
"Baypaw... she's Mintleaf and Abyssfang's spawn. Yes, yes, I know that Mintleaf's WillowClan's leader. If you couldn't tell already, I'm not very fond of either." The cream tabby shrugged. "It's normal, I guess. Baypaw doesn't know we're related, and I intend to keep it that way. I don't need her blathering about our relationship to every cat in the forest she sees. I try to treat her just like every other apprentice. She'll be made a warrior with you and your sister, if she focuses long enough to get something to stick in that thick skull of hers. There's another reason behind my not telling her, too."
He was venting. Everything he'd kept pent up inside of him for so long, it was all coming out now, so easily that they could have been discussing the weather, or hunting, or a new combat technique. He directed his gaze at the red sun, a beautiful crimson that, he realized with a sense of horror, was the color of fresh-spilled blood.
"I killed Abyssfang. My own father. Murdered him." Plaguestar laughed, almost hysterically. "I didn't want him tainting any more cats. I wanted to be the last, the only. I almost look his double; I'd take all those dirty looks and whispered rumors for my whole family, if I could. But only for Shatteredsky. And Baypaw. They didn't deserve any of this madness.
None of us did."

[/blockquote]

[angels.to.demons]

The rising sun had cast a blazing, bloody red glow on the entire Weeping Forest, giving Plaguestar and Darkpaw both a heavy orange sheen to their pelts. Despite the blaring gold glint in his green eyes, the young black tom did not move, did not show one sign of inattentiveness. He sat as still as a statue, head tilted up to observe Plaguestar's face as the cold grass lapped at his thin flanks like rippling water on a swimming StreamClan cat.

Any MireClan cat who would have come upon them would have thought nothing strange of the picture; the leader, looking over his apprentice and telling him something serious; the apprentice, gazing up at him with respectful curiosity; but there was nothing normal about them, or about their conversation. Darkpaw was fervently glad Mirrorpaw had just gone to the camp without him; she had no business here. Spectrumfire, either. He was finally beginning to understand the true horror of his leader and mentor's life... and he respected him all the more, every word he heard.

Shatteredsky and Baypaw... half-siblings? Shared a mother... fathers were enemies... closer than me and Mirrorpaw? That's not hard to do anymore, he thought bitterly, shifting slightly to warm his frozen form up a bit. Wait... Baypaw is MINTLEAF'S daughter? Oh dear StarClan...

Now that he thought about it, though, Mintleaf and Baypaw did look quite a bit alike. Baypaw was bigger, but they shared their gray coat and green eyes. Slightly angry when he heard this, knowing how sweet and innocent Baypaw was, he growled, Mintleaf just abandoned Baypaw? She doesn't even know her mother... she just left her...? No wonder you don't like her, despite the obvious. Ruefully thinking about Shatteredsky, as well, he realized that his leader and medicine cat had undergone quite a terrible life.

Now, don't you feel sorry for someone other than your stupid self, Darkpaw? He thought, swallowing heavily over the lump in his throat. Yeah. I do. At least Shadow and Shroud loved us... and at least I know Mirrorpaw's the only sister I have.

But Plaguestar wasn't finished, and the last bit was what made Darkpaw finally give a sigh of relief and disbelief, mingled into one strange jagged breath. Killed your own father... At first he was shocked and a bit appalled, but gradually he understood why...

Good.. he murmured, looking into Plaguestar's eyes. He was still rather shocked; by god, he'd be shocked for anyone. But, of course, he was glad Plaguestar had been the one to take Abyssfang's life. Who else would have as much reason to kill him? It was only the right thing. As crazy as that sounds... Here he laughed a bit. As crazy as that sounds, I do believe it was the right thing. Would he have done the same thing?

He didn't know, and that disturbed him.

[[don't]fear[the]reaper]

Plaguestar breathed a heavy sigh of relief, getting to his feet. "Thanks, Darkpaw," he said, meaning every word. Then he smiled, a real smile, with less sadness in it than there had been in months.
"Now, c'mon, on your feet, kit," the leader nudged his apprentice. "If we stay here too long, some cat's bound to think we've gotten into a scrap with some StreamClan warrior and come off worse." Plaguestar flicked his tail from side to side, then added, in an undertone, "Baypaw knows Mintleaf. I saw them together when I first..." A gulp. "Met Abyssfang. I wouldn't bring either up with Baypaw if I were you. Keep the peace in the Clan, you know?" The great tom shrugged, his mind in a whirl.
Did he trust Darkpaw? Sure he did. The younger cat felt like what stories said a son should feel like, if they were to be believed. But Plaguestar wanted to be cautious, and he was worried about other things, anyway.
"We may as well find Spectrumfire before we head back. Otherwise, he'll be in a fit when he gets home later. What do you say, Darkpaw?"

[[Yeah, lazy. Hnnn...]]

[/size]

[angels.to.demons]

OOC ugh. this post is terrible, but ah well.

Quietly, Darkpaw tilted his head. It felt so natural to him, talking to the older warrior, the mentor, the leader... the father. How easily he could replace Shadow's mental image so soon after his death. Aw, what? He never talked to me like I was his son. He never talked to me at all, until he tried to get me to go back to him and that lonely, forsaken life in the Falls. Glancing up, he caught Plaguestar's words.

I wouldn't tell a soul... especially Baypaw, he promised, rising to his feet and shaking his coat out. He knew he was anxious to leave now, and Plaguestar looked as though he was, too. So they would find Mirrorpaw's mentor and Plaguestar's deputy; fine, fine. He yawned, realizing how tired he was; dang, he hadn't slept a moment all night... twenty-four and counting hours with no sleep was quite a bit for an almost-warrior. Darkpaw glanced up at Plaguestar with his hooded green eyes, nodding agreement and pushing his sleepiness away. It can wait, Darkie'm'boy, his conscience urged him, and he believed, eyes trailing the horizon.

Sure thing, Plaguestar. I definitely need to get some energy in my limbs before they freeze completely, he mewed, flexing his forelegs and arching his back. What a night... what a night.

[[don't]fear[the]reaper]

[[okay, we're done here, then. FAST FORWARD TIME!]]

Plaguestar to;; camp [in theory]

[[Warrior Ceremony, coming up in the next few days!]]

[angels.to.demons]

Hooray.